Filed under: Ggold , funny sh*t, video
May 15, 2009 • 3:17 pm 0
3041 Laguna Street. Was It All Cash?
by Coach A:
While I’m certain there’s a story behind this sale, I’m for taking information at face value. With that in mind:
Schtuff:
- Address :3041 Laguna St
- Beds: 5
- Baths: 4.5
- Square Feet: 3520
- ‘Hood: Cow Hollow
- List Price: $3,750,000
- Sales Price: $1,000 (according to the MLS)
Schtats:
- At 3520 sq ft, this baby sold for 28 cents a square foot.
- This sales price represents .03% of the list price.
- Property taxes are initially $11.40 a year.
- Each agent makes $25.00 before company split.
Questions:
- Think the buyer paid on his credit or debit card?
- With 20% down, do you think the buyer financed the other $800 with a fixed 30 year loan making $2.20 principal payments each month?
Tough economy.
Filed under: coach a , cow hollow, funny sh*t, random, real estate
April 13, 2009 • 11:22 pm 0
Slide It In The Back Door, Nice n’ Dirty
We got an email that read:
subject: Quick & Easy!
To tour 3340 Market today 12:30-1:30:
Please park near 545 Corbett & we’ll get you IN THE BACK DOOR QUICK & EASY! LUNCH will be served!
Filed under: Ggold , funny sh*t
October 29, 2008 • 1:08 pm 2
Those Damn Signs
Ah, the real estate A-frame sign. Those silly open house signs that come out in droves on Sunday afternoon are now in jeopordy. Oh no! We all know how much the general public loves real estate agents and the fact that agents feel the need to block sidewalks, medians and roadways to advertise their open houses is just another reason why we’re loved so much. Now, the DPW may start fining agents for these signs that violate certain guidelines. The DPW will soon start fining $300 for each violation under Section 63(a) of the Police Code. That section of the Police Code states that “it is unlawful for any person to place A-frame or advertising signs on the sidewalk so as to obstruct passage [or on median strips].” Be vigilant, report crime.
Filed under: Ggold, funny sh*t, random, real estate , funny sh*t, random, real estate
September 30, 2008 • 6:35 am 9
The Extremely Curious 958 Carolina St.
By Coach A:
Put this in the “Reason’s why we hate Realtors” box. 958 Carolina St, a 2500 square foot, 4 bed, 2.5 bath single family house in Potrero Hill came on the market on September 10th for $1,795,000. A steep price in my opinion but in this market, it’s probably best to allow the property ample time on the market before making any wild adjustments in price–OR–you can change the price every time a stiff breeze rolls through the Bay Area.
Property History:
- 09/10: New on the market for $1,795,00
- 09/18: Lowered to $1,760,000 ($35K reduction in 8 days-little quick in my opinion)
- 09/20: Lowered to $1,698,000 (really? 48 hours after a reduction, another reduction?)
- 09/21 6pm: Lowered to $1,600,000 (hmmm – did ya give the $62K reduction a full day?)
- 09/21 8pm: Raised to $1,680,000 (guess the interest @ $1.6m was GREAT for 2 hours)
- 09/22: Lowered to $1,678,000 (ahh yes, the effective $2K reduction!)
- 09/25: Lowered to $1,650,000
- 09/29 12:51pm: Lowered to $1,495,000 (ok – now we’re getting closer to the realistic value of this home – 300K below where we started)
- 09/29 12:53: Raised to $1,650,000 (a 2 minute price reduction – DAMN – I missed my chance)
Seriously – what the FU*K is this agent thinking? If it’s done to get the listing popping up on our database which does occur when the price is lowered and raised, well that’s just pathetic. I can think of a few better marketing ideas–shit, Cooper (3.5 years old) can come up with a better strategy! Here’s an idea–why don’t you price the property appropriately – let’s say $1.4m (and that’s PUSHING it) and leave it the hell alone for 3-4 weeks.
Imagine going out to eat with this agent- “I’d like the garden salad and lasagna, no wait, make that the minestrone soup and the burger,
Filed under: Potrero Hill, coach a, favorites, funny sh*t, real estate , coach a, favorites, funny sh*t, Potrero Hill, real estate
September 29, 2008 • 6:17 am 1
A Reader Supports Home Depot
Below, an e-note from a beloved reader that seems to be sad that The Home Depot decided not to move into the old Goodman Lumber yard On Bayshore Blvd (and mad about the floor store across the street). Spelling errors are intact for affect and SF Schtuff does not necessarily share the views nor can guarantee the accuracy of of our readers opinions or commentary. All of the Newcomb neighbors are off the hook too 
Regarding the Home Depot moving into the Goodman lot editorial, I live in the neighborhood, and have repeatedly tried to go into Floorcraft (directly across from the old Goodman lot) and continously get ignored or rude service. Though they are attempting to be family owned and all that, my son worked in a Home Depot in another state and it was very good to him with great benefits and advancement. Also, I have heard that the “family” values of Floorcraft” are not that “family” in the first place. Rumor is that the owner has been inappropriate with many women employees. I had a friend who worked there years ago who told me this, and that employees were fired wrongly. I do not think The Home Depot is known for thess things, not in my own experience, anyway, so myself and all my neighbors down near Newcomb are all for it.
Goodman>—>Home Depot—>Lowes [SF Schtuff]
Home Depot Update [SF Schtuff]
Goodman Gone Bad? [SF Schtuff]
Filed under: funny sh*t, random, readers , funny sh*t, random, readers
September 8, 2008 • 8:53 am 0
Rub Me Down and Hit Me With Your Sausage
This didn’t take place in SF, but it was found on on SF Gate so we thought it was appropriate and downright strange, so it has a place here at SF Schtuff.
Get a load of this:
The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch sausage.
Filed under: Ggold, funny sh*t, news, random , funny sh*t, news, random
August 25, 2008 • 11:21 am 11
Get Back In Your Kennel, Puppy
WARNING: The content in this post may not be suitable for children or those that are sensitive to sexual content. Reader discretion is advised…
Real estate agents are made fun of on the daily (most deservedly). Agents are often compared to slimy used car salespeople, but there are a select few that can actually make fun of themselves and have a little fun with it. Unfortunately, there are also agents that take offense to everything and anything and we’re sure this post will not make those agents happy. Yes, we recognize that we’re just perpetuating the absolutely inappropriate conduct that took place, but frankly, we have no problem with it–share the info is our motto
Back story:
Over the weekend, we got an email sent to us from an agent of a major SF real estate company. This email was sent to about 100 agents and managers within the company. What happened is that somebody took their S&M a little too far and it seems the DOM pissed off the SUB real good and the SUB wanted the world to know how dirty this agent is. In just about any “normal” office, such performance would be swiftly followed by an apology, a firing and a PR blitz, but in the world of real estate, people laugh, point fingers and share with each other. Real estate agents do not have much of a governing body to tell them what is right and wrong (think SEC for securities). Instead, agents promise to follow a code of ethics and each company tries to enforce such standards upon their agents, but when emotions rise, these independant contractors act out like children, email blast everybody and their mother and share very private stories about who’s screwing who, who’s in rehab and all the other bull sh*t that agents get caught up in.
In this case, a disgruntled SUB (non agent) decided to send an email chain and 3 extremely graphic pictures to the majority of the DOM’S (agent) company. Just imagine opening up a work email to find this sent to your entire company.
Emails:
from DOM (agent) to “puppy”:
[I] Would like to hear more from you as to what you see yourself doing and what you would like being done to you. Tell me how you would be of service. You were stellar at one time; can you be that supper bitch puppy again? I want to hear your thoughts in details.
Filed under: Ggold, favorites, funny sh*t, random , favorites, funny sh*t, random, sex
August 19, 2008 • 1:27 pm 1
Wanted: Nemesis
Aging woman seeks some excitement in her life. From the Bay Area “best of” Craigslist:
I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I’m 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I’m old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I’m willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionally whisper in my ear, “Ahha, we meet again”. That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconspicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.
British accent preferred.
Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend [craigslist]
Filed under: Ggold, favorites, funny sh*t, random , favorites, funny sh*t, random
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