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By Matty P:

SAN FRANCISCO, CA–What do you get when you combine sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and Santa? A collective holiday spirit the likes of which even Rudolph has never encountered! Santacon 2007 is coming to San Francisco. Dust off that old Santa suit you used to scare the children with and get your yule tide on!

Every December for over a decade, Cacophonic Santa’s have terrorized conventional wisdom by staging events covering the globe. From Portland, Oregon to the Ukraine, St. Nicks have traveled far and wide for this ritual of intoxication and most importantly–giving.

Schedule:
12:00pm: Meet Santa’s at the Ferry Building as they head to the Castro.
2:30pm: Gathering at Zeitgeist
3:30pm: Santarchy!
10:00pm: After-party at Anon Salon (Santa’s get in for $5 with password which will be distributed at the last bar)

Bring:
toys
mistletoe
beer money
drinking vessel
lube (the reindeer can get freaky if you know what I mean)
comfortable shoes
musical instrument or noisemaker
healthy set of pipes because there’ll be some caroling out in those streets!

Rules:
1. Don’t f*ck with kids. The holidays are hard enough on the little bastards.
2. Don’t f*ck with the police. They might fuck with you.
3. Don’t f*ck with security. They will call the police (see rule #2)
4. Don’t f*ck with Santa. He will ABSOLUTELY f*ck you in the ass.

Santa will be staked out on the Anon Salon roof deck and party patrons will be notified that Santa’s lap will be available for sitting - whether they’ve been naughty OR nice.

So…enjoy the festive, friendly confines of Thanksgiving. This Christmas will bring a Santa Invasion. Nothing can stop the red tide!

Santarchy & Santacon [website]
The Cacophony Society [website]
Santacon 2007 [laughing squid]
Red Tide [Wikipedia]

By: B-Hizzie & Matty P.

B-H’s 2 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Lime : Castro
Perfect for me because I can NEVER decide on what to order and I love to people watch. They have very very good cocktails, American small plates (including grilled cheese) and a super fun vibe.
2. Nicks Crispy Tacos: Russian Hill
Hands down best fish tacos I have had in The City. Perfect order - Elote, cheese quesadilla, and one pescado taco “nicks way.”

M. P.’s 2 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Lefty O’Douls: Downtown/Union Square
Simply put, I like meats. Cured meats, boiled meats, grilled meats…there isn’t one I’ve met that I haven’t enjoyed thoroughly. Plus, the atmosphere reminds me of a Moose Lodge or German Beer Hall. With piano playing, cocktails flowing and an exchange of beef, turkey and pork unlike any I have ever seen, Lefty O’Doul’s adds spirit to an otherwise lifeless collection of hipster trash.
2. Eric’s: Noe Valley
This Chinese restaurant has no character. It does, however, have the greatest Chinese food known to man. Add to that a VERY complete lunch for less than $10 and you have a combination for the gods. I strongly recommend the Walnut Prawns, Eric’s Chow Mein and General Tso’s Chicken if you’re there for dinner. Ask how the proprietor “allegedly” stole the recipes from his ex-wife (who owns Alice’s…just down the street and around the corner). Stop by, soak up the zero atmosphere and allow your taste buds a treat…at a cost fit for us eking by in this damned expensive city.

B-H’s 2 Favorite Pizza Places:

1. Za Pizza: Russian Hill
The perfect slice, thin and not soggy, creative combos, and they have the best best best salads. I moved away and crave thier honey mustard dressing, it’s DELICIOUS. Not to mention going in there as a local, getting bottomless wine, good tunes, and cute boys to boot.
2. Haystack’s Pizza: Noe Valley
Duh, it’s Right down the street from me! Very good/unexpected wings and carafe’s of wine. If you get a smaller size pizza the crust can be a little thick, so the larger the better.

M.P.’s 2 Favorite Pizza Places:

1. Haystack’s Pizza: Noe Valley
This is a guilty pleasure for all those living in or around Noe Valley. Haystack’s blends a unique cowboy and Indian (excuse me…Native American) motif with a traditional Italian Pizzeria and come up with something…how do we say…magnifique!! There pizza is a bit doughy at times, but definitely made to order and with the freshest ingredients and richest cheeses this side of the Central Valley. I usually dig into the Popeye the Sailor, minus the garlic, but add sausage (again…meats). Along with the pizza, try the Greek Salad and get a carafe of the very affordable house Chianti and you’ll feel like a true cowboy/Indian/gangster/foodie right in the heart of Noe Valley.
2. Escape from New York Pizza: Haight-Ashbury
Have you ever been to the Haight? Smoked so much of the local herbs and spices that you get REALLY hungry. How about Polk Street? Ever gone to Shanghai Kelly’s and shared a dozen or so Jaegermeister shots with the bartender? Well I have…and Escape from NY provides fast, easy, inexpensive and surprisingly delicious pizza. Try the potato pesto or go for a classic slice of pepperoni for those late night munchies.
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