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By Matty P:

SAN FRANCISCO, CA–What do you get when you combine sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and Santa? A collective holiday spirit the likes of which even Rudolph has never encountered! Santacon 2007 is coming to San Francisco. Dust off that old Santa suit you used to scare the children with and get your yule tide on!

Every December for over a decade, Cacophonic Santa’s have terrorized conventional wisdom by staging events covering the globe. From Portland, Oregon to the Ukraine, St. Nicks have traveled far and wide for this ritual of intoxication and most importantly–giving.

Schedule:
12:00pm: Meet Santa’s at the Ferry Building as they head to the Castro.
2:30pm: Gathering at Zeitgeist
3:30pm: Santarchy!
10:00pm: After-party at Anon Salon (Santa’s get in for $5 with password which will be distributed at the last bar)

Bring:
toys
mistletoe
beer money
drinking vessel
lube (the reindeer can get freaky if you know what I mean)
comfortable shoes
musical instrument or noisemaker
healthy set of pipes because there’ll be some caroling out in those streets!

Rules:
1. Don’t f*ck with kids. The holidays are hard enough on the little bastards.
2. Don’t f*ck with the police. They might fuck with you.
3. Don’t f*ck with security. They will call the police (see rule #2)
4. Don’t f*ck with Santa. He will ABSOLUTELY f*ck you in the ass.

Santa will be staked out on the Anon Salon roof deck and party patrons will be notified that Santa’s lap will be available for sitting - whether they’ve been naughty OR nice.

So…enjoy the festive, friendly confines of Thanksgiving. This Christmas will bring a Santa Invasion. Nothing can stop the red tide!

Santarchy & Santacon [website]
The Cacophony Society [website]
Santacon 2007 [laughing squid]
Red Tide [Wikipedia]