San Francisco Schtuff

By Anna M. Hibble:

We live in contentious times, so finding common ground is difficult. Still, I have rarely heard an argument over whether Trader Joe’s is a good place to shop or not, so I figured writing about the coming-soon Stonestown Trader Joe’s would be a safe enough way to start my new career as a Schtuff contributor.

Of course, I’m not naive: People can and do hate anything, as witnessed by this Curbed argument over TJ’s merits, but seriously?  Who hates a bag of roasted peanuts costing you a third what it would in a Safeway? Who hates sesame ginger salad dressing for $1.99?  Not anyone I’d want to invite to dinner (especially since said ingredients will surely be employed)!

When that Trader Joe’s will actually make it to Stonestown is anyone’s guess (so what’s your guess? Anyone?). Still, it’s already made enough of a sensation, just by promising to come, to make the blog roll from the SF Business Times to Yelp to Chowhound.

A Trader Joe’s at Stonestown is a welcome addition to what amounts to, frankly, a fairly redundant mall. I know: All malls are, by definition, somewhat redundant, but this mall particularly so. Why a Macy’s and a Nordstroms’?  Wouldn’t we be better served by a lower end store as well as the higher end ones? And can anyone tell me the difference between the fashion at the Gap and that at Banana Republic? Or JCrew?  Okay, and budget shoppers: Can you name one actual difference between American Eagle and Aeropostale?

To be fair, the mall serves a fairly suburban-ish area of SF, so perhaps its tired brand offerings of Starbuck’s and Olive Garden are marketed to that audience. And my students from SF State go to the mall, sure, to look at headless mannequins at Victoria Secret or whatever. There’s a UA Cinema out there too, but it’s absolutely forlorn: not a single update since 1978. I’m usually one of two total members of the audience there no matter how popular the movie title, and I’ve learned the hard way not to look directly at those individuals sitting alone in dark theater corners.

Thus, I say Trader Joe’s will bring a welcome energy and usefulness to Stonestown. Yes, it’s a chain too, but at least you can buy your own ingredients to make unique food of your own. And with emphasis on organic and low fat items, it’s so much healthier than the food inside the mall! Seriously, an informal poll of food court restaurants show menu items to be: a) greasy; b)deep fried; c) soaked in cream; d) covered in sugar (and on an irresponsible side note, option “d” is f***ing delicious).  So we’ll be doing the families and students a favor by welcoming TJ’s to the fold. And finally, the acres of parking are sure to improve the day of the shopper who once tried the Masonic Trader Joe’s, only to find herself in L.A. style gridlock for the next six hours. Of course, 19th Ave. is already pretty horrible around Stonestown, but maybe people will start using the K-Line or their bikes or their frigging legs before it gets as bad as Laurel Heights.

All in all, I’m pretty sure we’ll start seeing “Close to Trader Joe’s” in real estate listings out in Ingelside, Lakeshore, Parkside, and the Outer Sunset.  And I’m one would-be buyer who’d factor that in as a plus.

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