San Francisco Schtuff

By Coach A:

Two doors west of Home San Francisco World Headquarters sits 331-333 Cortland Ave, a 3 unit mixed use building. There’s a 1200 square foot commercial space, a 3 bed/2 bath, 1200 sqft flat and a stand alone cottage in the rear. (approx 650 sqft).

This building was on the market for $1,699,000 for 90 days and withdrawn on August 12th. On August 28th the building came back to the market as new with no staging and a new price of $1,495,000. Fairly typical in our industry to see a listing expire and come back on the market with a new broker but in this case there are a few interesting factoids.

1. What is being sold: The property is being marketed as individual TIC’s this time around. The two residential units are on a “fast track” for condo conversion according to the new listing agent. I find this hard to believe for a few reasons, namely the lack of off street parking. In order to convert to a condo, a variance must be issued as there’s no off street parking. Before a variance gets issued, the City will send out a notice to the neighbors who will be potentially effected by the additional street parking. The neighbor due west of the subject property complains about EVERYTHING – you can take it to the bank that he’ll protest the variance – which means trouble for anyone trying to convert to condos.
2. Kitchen: THAT’S NOT A KITCHEN! Marketing remarks: “The two story, free standing cottage has two bedrooms, one full remodeled bathroom, a sunny living room, and kitchen with a stainless steel sink….” Umm – there is NO kitchen. The kitchen is the stainless steel sink. As seen from my picture, the sink has 2 small electric burners on the left side and a mini fridge below the burners. That’s the “kitchen.” You can’t feasibly cook a meal in this sink –err I mean kitchen.   Jackson can’t even cook a meal in this sink/ kitchen. No counters, no cabinets, no where to put a freaking cutting board, yet advertised as a “kitchen.” (Note: the gas line for the building doesn’t run to the rear cottage-another red flag for me.)

3. Photographs: There’s no staging in the units now, but staging in the pictures — and ya know what, the pictures look identical to the one’s that were in the MLS and on the marketing materials from the first listing agent. Safe to assume the new listing agent sniped the old pix. I’ve lost listings before – but never has the new agent stolen my pictures-that I do not accept, that I do not forgive!

We’ll see who becomes our new neighbors and when they apply for a variance, rest assured I’ll keep you posted on the drama that will ensue. As for the commercial space, I’d prefer to see a SubCenter, a remote control car race track center – for Cooper of course, an indoor hoops court, or a Pizza Place.

331-333 Cortland Ave [Home San Francisco]
331 Cortland Ave #A [Home San Francisco]
*Listed by Susan Ring of Alain Pinel REALTORS

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